Five Top tips when preparing for a Joint Mediation Session
Whilst going to mediation is less expensive than other aspects of the Family Justice system, it is still an investment of time, money, and emotion, in trying to reach a sustainable outcome.
Therefore, it is important to think carefully beforehand about how to get the best out of each session and give yourself the best possible chance of finding a solution to the issues that bring you to mediation.
#TIP ONE
Listen to one another so that you can hear what the other person is saying. You may have heard most of what they are saying before and it might feel like it is for the benefit of the mediator but it maybe something that is new to you or an acknowledgement of something that you find helpful and which will enable you both to find some space to move on
#TIP TWO
Arm yourself with knowledge before you come to the session. This might mean looking at all the documents that have been disclosed, looking at some parenting websites or consulting your lawyer. It might just be thinking about what is important to you and what you want to achieve. Just being an observer or listening to what the other person or the mediator has to say, invariably leads to disappointment and a high chance of the mediation breaking down
#TIP THREE
Being able to cope with uncertainty. This is not an obvious one, but until the last mediation session it is probably not possible to see the whole picture and to have a complete sense of what the outcome might be. It is natural to feel anxious over the way in which the mediation is going but sitting with the uncertainty of being able to move forward positively without knowing all the answers could free you up to consider outcomes you had not thought about. NB full disclosure is, of course important.
#TIP FOUR
Children First. This is an obvious one but in all the emotion around the separation and sorting everything out, this can become lost. Focussing on the children’s needs and feelings can move the discussion on in a way that looking at parental rights and entitlements does not. Child Inclusive Mediation can cut through a lot of the issues when the children are heard from directly
#TIP FIVE
Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. This is difficult to do when a key relationship has broken down. There is a lot of hurt and, sometimes mistrust. However, looking at things from the other person’s point of view can enable a middle ground to be found and which is one that both of you can live with, even if it is not ideal. A solution that meets both participant’s needs (if only partly) is likely to be much more sustainable
This blog was written for Family Mediation Week 2023. We hope that you have found these tips useful. The Mediation Space LLP is a specialist mediation service run by Mediators who are all experienced family lawyers and have training in Psychotherapy. They offer therapeutic support in the mediation process. They also offer Child Inclusive Mediation and the MOJ Voucher scheme.
If you want any more information about their service or to make an enquiry please email enquiries@themediationspace.co.uk
